watch guide First Season Bakemonogatari(2009) Nisemonogatari (2012) Nekomonogatari Black (2012) Second Season Monogatari Series Second Season (2013) Hanamonogatari (2014) Final Season Tsukimonogatari (2014) Owarimonogatari (2015) Koyomimonogatari (2016) Kizumonogatari Part 1: Tekketsu (2016) Kizumonogatari Part 2: Nekketsu (2016) Kizumonogatari Part 3: Reiketsu (2017) Owarimonogatari (Part 2) (2017) Zoku Owarimonogatari (2018)
I tried it, I thought I understood what was going on till I got like 3 episodes deep and just got more and more lost
Your not real weebs maybe read the manga first but you have to complete these season they explain everything the more you watch its kinda like those movies that begin at the end, again its an acquired taste
If you really wanna get hooked quick then watch the kizu movies first if bakemonogatari is boring for you. They are more recent and action packed.